I’m straying away from our typical format and I’m going to write about something different than Katelyn. I’m going to talk about me! (Hahah for some reason, I just imagined Reese Witherspoon as Elle Woods in Legally Blonde…when she gets chosen to work at the law firm and yells “ME!!” Anyone? Okay, that was random. But hey, I’m a random person so there you have it). Anyway….
Yesterday was my 28th birthday. Weird. I don’t feel that old. And yes, I know in the grand scheme of things, that isn’t that old but I sort of freaked out this year anyway. I’ve never not been excited about my birthday, until now. I’ve always enjoyed getting to celebrate with friends and, let’s be real, eat cake. But this year, I did not want to have a birthday. Until a few days before, I had no plans and was perfectly happy to let it stay that way. Because I didn’t want to be 28 and still… where I am. Even though I recently talked about how I have become content with where I am in life, sometimes I revert back. I have so many wonderful things in my life, but the fact that I am still working at the same job I had when I was 18…TEN YEARS AGO… really depresses me. So, I was dwelling on feeling like a failure and how I am so much closer to be 30 (which is apparently the deadline I gave myself to have “made it”) and something wonderful happened. My friends and family, without knowing how much I needed it, said all the things I needed to hear. And it had nothing to do with my job or lack of “justice career”. Without even trying, they reminded me of what truly matters in life and that I have become the person, for the most part, that I want to be. I am who I want to be.
I realized that I was letting the experiences I want determine how I viewed myself. I needed to change how I saw the experiences I want in life. They are something to be enjoyed and not something that determines my worth. I have this 30 by 30 list (okay, right now it’s about 25 by 30) that I wrote up about six months ago and I think I was making a list of all the things I need to “accomplish” to be worthy. To be good enough. And now I know, if I’m going to have a list of goals by the time I’m thirty, they should be goals of experiences that will make my life more enjoyable and more fulfilled. Not goals that will make me appear “better”. I’m going to share my list:
MY (almost) 30 BY 30
-marry Tyler (done)
-buy a house (done)
-rescue a dog (done)
-graduate with Master’s degree- in May
-read 50 new books- in progress
-climb a 14er
-film on the Rockies
-read entire Bible: start to finish- in progress
-learn calligraphy –in progress
-anchor tattoo with Tyler
-career fighting for justice
-Harry Potter world
-make homemade apple pie
-visit the Grand Canyon –planned with Brittany
-see a movie at the drive in
-travel overseas with Tyler
-complete a half marathon (if hip allows)
-fix backyard/ start garden- this summer
-be happy with my body
-put an extra $***** in savings (sorry folks, that’s private) –in progress
-start a business with Katelyn (done)
-go to Alaska
#30 HAVE A BABY!!
What are your goals? What would you add? Are you making goals to make your life more enjoyable, more filled with adventure, meaning, pleasure? Or are you constantly comparing yourself to those you see as more accomplished, like I all too often do? Make a list and then determine if that list is for you or for others, to be seen as better than you are in their eyes. Who do you want to be? How can we help you realize your goals, as we seek to realize ours alongside you?